Conquering the city.

A curious and adventurous girl: something I’ve just discovered from myself. I realized it now from the way I feel towards any place with its adventure possibilities–when I thought about that.

I love to explore new places, I feel it cool to go somewhere alone. Also, I never feel like a lost child to be somewhere alone, instead, I feel like the main character of a book or a movie. Seriously, there are so much you can do by being alone. Capturing some random pictures, talking to strangers, learning something new, or simply just clearing your mind. Hence, here I dare myself to make a trip to a city I’ve never visited before alone, maybe Surabaya or Jogja, this year (I hope). Not easy, I know. My trip to Malang last year just easy because I have a friend there who took care of me, someone I dearly miss now.

Yes, I love to be accompanied by friends too, don’t get me wrong. But I’m just not a type of girl who will cancel my plan to go somewhere just because there’s no accompany. I just think “why don’t go there and find what I can find alone?”. You don’t always feel lonely by being alone because there’s a huge difference between ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’, though. 

Lately, too, I’ve been thinking about what an ideal happy life is. And I thought about a city, a strange city I’ve never visited before. But this city, however, scrathed a smile on my face. I imagined myself woke up in the morning on my warm and comfy bed next to a window where a friendly sunshine happily said hi to me. I will dressed up, ready to look around the city by my bicycle or even just take a walk then stopping by on a bookstore or a coffee shop. Better if there’s a park with a river to simply just enjoy the moments. Alone, or with a lover 🙂

Syukur:

Setiap orang punya suatu hal yang harus disyukuri.

Setiap orang punya kekurangan, tapi juga punya kelebihan masing-masing yang patut disyukuri,

orang-orang mungkin lupa. Itulah sebabnya lebih banyak yang mengeluh daripada yang bersyukur,

tidak bisa disalahkan, karena sesuatu yang buruk memang lebih bisa mendistraksi pikiran dibanding sesuatu yang indah.

Kau hanya perlu melihat lebih teliti: di balik senyum “mereka”, pasti ada setidaknya satu resah di sana. 

Kau juga hanya perlu melihat dengan lebih teliti: di balik gundah dan keresahan, ada satu hal yang perlu kau syukuri.

(Seandainya setiap manusia memahami, setiap orang pasti akan berpikir seribu kali untuk menyakiti orang lain. Karena, setiap orang sudah berada pada masalah dan pertarungan hidupnya masing-masing.)

Why.

​I guess I really can’t ever be angry to anyone. Although they hurt me, I’ll always think of the reason to forgive them. I may not want to talk with them and avoid them–only if I have to. But I won’t abandon people as long as I don’t have a reasonable thought to do so. And that’s why I always wonder why some people find it hard to do. Why so easy for them to leave people. And how can people just go and not be there anymore.

Sometimes, I want to be the one who’s angry. To be mad right back at people who’s mad at me. But instead of mad at them who can’t understand me (although I try so much to understand them), I’ll just always blame and blame myself. I blame myself for what people do to me. I mind other’s mind and feeling too much sometimes I forget that I also have a heart to be cared of.

Fvck it off. I’m doing the best I can to bring the best version of me. If they can’t see that, it should be their problem and not mine, right? People don’t have to like me, and I don’t have to care, right?

But that’s just a thought.

In fact, I’ll just always be a person who care too much. If not, I won’t be thinking about this until bother my time to write it in here.

Well, so much feeling huh 🙂

A Terrible Writer, Me?

I feel like a very terrible writer, I don’t even know if myself is worth to be called as ‘a writer’ anymore 😦 because for me, a writer is not just about “oh yes, I can write!” (if so, everyone–even a kid–can call themselves as ‘a writer’), but also about how is the result of the writing and how do you put your time to do such thing you said is very passionate about: writing. I barely write a story now, not like the old days. And when I do, I don’t feel like it’s satisfying, like “what kind of writing is this?! -_-“. I don’t know whyyy, is it just myself?

Recently, I wrote a story and published it on wattpad (my wattpad username is sunnycherryy, btw), then I gave the link for my friend to read but she said she don’t get it. I don’t know if now my writing skill is that bad, or it’s just a matter of ‘taste’. Everyone has a different taste of something, rite?

Tbh, I feel bad 😦 it’s not that I don’t get used on critics, honestly I’ve got the worst critics back then, but it’s okay, I even felt happy (because then I can learn from it). But now it’s more like… even myself is agree if my writing is nothing…

I miss the old days, when in a week I can produce even more than 3 stories 😡 where is it nauuu? Where is the spirittt? -.-

Anyway, go visit my kemudian account (www.kemudian.com) with the username ‘cherryblossoms’, if you curious about my writing back then, or visit my wattpad with the username I’ve mentioned before. And if you don’t mind, can you tell me your opinion of it?

Apa judulnya? :p

x: sun ga nulis lagi?

y: nulis apa ?

x: blog

y: nulis skripsi dulu … (hhehe)

x: -_-

y: seriously

 

Kira-kira gitu deh jawaban yang aku berikan kepada mereka yang bertanya-tanya kenapa aku belum nulis-nulis blog juga. Ahem, mahasiswa skripsi banget nih? Hhahaha.

Yeah, skripsi. Akhirnya berhadapan juga sama tantangan yang satu ini. Ga nyangka. Ya bukan bearti pas awal masuk kuliah aku ga sadar kalau nantinya akan berhadapan sama yang satu ini sih, tapi… ga nyangka aja cepet banget o_o ternyata sudah mau empat tahun saya kuliah (kayaknya kemaren baru masuk deh), dan ternyata saya sudah jadi mahasiswa tingkat akhir (kayaknya kemaren masih jadi maba-maba unyu gitu deh) #yagakemarenjugawoy wkwk.

 

Well then…

Alhamdulillah o:)

 

Alhamdulillah sudah mendapatkan topik yang sesuai, sesuai di mata dosen pembimbing dan sesuai di hati sendiri juga XD sehingga (InsyaAllah) prosesnya ga akan terlalu menjadi beban karena emang suka.

 

Sejauh ini sudah dua kali bimbingan. Bab satu sudah oke 🙂

Dua minggu lagi menyerahkan bab dua, bab tiga ke dospem, lalu Sempro di pertengahan Maret nanti… (masih berdoa biar Sempronya akhir Maret aja!), Sidang… Wisuda deh…

Hhehe gampang banget ya kalo ngomong, padahal mah… -_-

InsyaAllah, InsyaAllah dimudahkan 🙂

About You

Maybe because it is already too much.

When I look behind, to the past:

It doesn’t really matter anymore,

It doesn’t really hurt like what I felt before.

.

But it doesn’t mean that I forget. I don’t ever want to forget all the things that happened.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t care, too. Because I also thinking about it sometimes.

.

I understand that you’re sorry, that you want to make things right again.

But to be back with you?

No, I can’t.

.

Now I just want to look forward, no matter it is with or without you.

I just believe everything have its own destiny 🙂